Friday, March 07, 2008

Fatigued Obama Loses Face in Interview

It was bound to happen. Sooner or later we knew Obama’s characteristic cool would show a crack or two, and today he reminded us that sometimes everyone just needs a nap. Appearing on a television talk show in Pennsylvania, the star candidate grew agitated after fielding questions on issues that have dogged his campaign of late, including last week’s overblown NAFTA flap and his relationship with Chicago real estate developer Antoin Rezko. Obama kept his composure for most of the interview, but he slipped as the questions turned toward whether he’s benefited from soft media scrutiny. From there the interview degenerated quickly, as you can see from the transcript below. We pick it up where Obama lets go of the wheel.

-----------------------

Good Morning Allentown: There’s been a lot of emphasis on fairness in media coverage recently. In particular, Senator Clinton and her supporters have repeatedly suggested that media coverage of her campaign has been much tougher. What do you make of these claims? Do you think they may have helped turn the tide against you given the results of the March 4 primaries?

Obama [under his breath]:
Another day, another moron.

GMA:
Excuse me?

Obama:
I said, “you’re so brilliant.”

GMA:
I’m not sure that’s what I heard, Senator.

Obama:
Are you sure you don’t hear Russert whispering in your ear?

GMA:
I don’t follow that.

Obama:
Of course not, and that’s fine. I expect this now. I mean, we’ve been at this for a year and you guys are a dime a dozen.

GMA: “You guys?”

Obama: Your comprehension skills are stunning today. Did your producer pick up on that? Did you get a compliment?

GMA: Senator, I think I asked a fair question.

Obama: And fair can be stupid. Like that jacket you’re wearing. Who picked that out for you? It wasn’t Michelle; I know that much. Jesus, she’d smack my ass if I wore something that desperate.

GMA: I’m just trying to find out…

Obama [mocking]: I’m just trying to find out…

GMA: Senator, I’m just asking a basic question about whether your campaign…

Obama: Yeah, yeah, the whole operation is set to crumble now that Her Highness is playing the victim again. Ooooo! I’m shaking! Howard Wolfson thinks I make french toast and crumpets for Ken Starr! Our whole campaign is gonna implode! The donors are abandoning us and we’ll only pull in 50 million this month!

GMA: So you’re denying that your campaign strategists are inspired by Ken Starr?

Obama: You’re not following me at all, so let me make it clear: I’m saying that your mother paid the kids on your block to be friends with you.

GMA: Help me understand how your attitude reflects the themes of your campaign.

Obama: Swish! Another cup of Cha-Ching from Professor Murrow!

GMA: I’m still waiting to find out whether you feel the media’s been unfair to Senator Clinton.

Obama: Well, you’re gonna to have to endure, because I still haven’t figured out how I get out of bed every morning to face the barrage of mind-numbing blabber you idiots dish out hour after hour, day after day, week after week with no end in sight. The bombs will have gone off and the country will be piles of plastic and bricks, but somewhere under the rubble a TV will be gurgling with your nonsense. Here’s another sopping pile of drivel for our viewers, Frank! Let’s turn to our crack panel for some slaver-soaked second-hand blog-o-nalysis! And make sure to tune in for the seventh hour, ‘cause Donny Dumbnuts has tips on how to scrape frost off a windshield!

GMA: Are you finished?

Obama: By the way, Frank, big news on the campaign trail this morning! Critics of Senator Barack Obama are pretty sure he throws up a little every time he hears the Pledge of Allegiance. We’ll hit the streets for reactions from a few dumbasses.

GMA: Nice. Do you want points for delivery?

Obama: Get bent.

GMA: Are you getting worried?

Obama: About whether your program can sustain itself against its competitors? Oh, yes. I’ve been losing sleep.

GMA: About how your chances of winning the nomination are in jeopardy. About all the things that could happen between now and April 22. About whether Senator Clinton’s plan to make out with John McCain for the next few months will knock you off balance. About what her strategy could cost Democrats in the long run.

Obama: You know, I think Mrs. Clinton will be in Harrisburg tomorrow if you want to give her a hug.

GMA: So fairness in media coverage is on your mind after all.

Obama: I’m just saying it’s fair if you have a crush on her.

GMA: Will it be fair if Florida and Michigan hold new elections?

Obama: You’re pushing it.

GMA: Senator Clinton has said she just wants the voters of Florida and Michigan to be heard.

Obama: I’m warning you.

GMA: Are you subverting the democratic process by not supporting her appeal?

Obama: We’re done here.

GMA: Senator, I think our viewers deserve to know whether you respect their votes.

Obama [detaching microphone from blazer, standing up]: Thanks for the chat. I think your lapel pin is snazzy.